It’s been six months to the day since my father passed. As I sit here typing away on my computer, I reflect on all of the changes that have occurred in my life in these past six months. Some of the changes are major life changes while others are more subtle.

What I wish to gain from this life altering experience is a deeper understanding of the living spirit. And make no mistake about it I do have a strong sense that the spirit of my father is as alive as it ever was.

As of late, I have been focusing my meditation on moving past this physical form, and trying to touch that which is in us that is formless. I am able to get there in my meditation. And once I am there, I try to stay there and let it penetrate me. What does it feel like to be formless? What does it feel like to be no-body and no-thing, absolute no-thing-ness?  There are no answers to these questions. The questions have to be experienced.

Adyansti talks about what he imagines the experience of death will be like. I love how he describes this experience. He says, “death is just the next experience- that’s all it is. It’s the next experience; it’s a different experience than sitting here talking to you, but ultimately it’s the next experience that consciousness has.” He goes on to say, “at the moment of physical death, there is the dropping away of the physical experience. In a way, it’s a forced awakening.”

I close my eyes and let go. I know my true self to be formless. And I allow myself to be just that. I let everything else drop away. I stay with this experience….until I open my eyes and let the world back in.

I went to a five day silent retreat in the beautiful hudson valley a couple of months ago. One rainy day, while sitting in a small room for meditation, I happened to look up at the chalkboard on the wall.

I saw these words “Be Still and Know That I am God”. I remember hearing or reading these words long ago. They come from the Bible. I do not recall where exactly they can be found. But I distinctly remember this phrase.

As I looked up at the board, I saw these words were separated out like this:

Being

Stillness

Knowing

That I am

God

Written out this way, the phrase took on a whole new meaning for me. These words are all pointers to the same thing. The hidden meaning behind this phrase is that We Are This. We are: The Being, The Stillness, The Knowing, the That I am and God!

I found myself meditating on this phrase in this way. It became a powerful mantra for me.

Be Still… and Know, That I am… God!

Rest in the stillness, knowing that you are that stillness, you are that Being, you are God.

Take five minutes out of your day to breathe. Close your eyes. Sit and feel the silence. Breathe. Let go. Let your life go in this very moment. Relax your eyes. Relax your mind. Stay in this moment. Take a deep breathe in. And let it go. Feel the release move down your neck to your belly, to your legs and out your feet.

We are all busy, especially us moms. But try to take five every day. Lock yourself in your bathroom if you have to. The stress of a busy lifestyle can cause us to forget how to relax and breathe.